It turns out that one of my favorite business writers, MediaPost’s Bob Garfield, hates those Jane Seymour Kay Jewelers ads as badly as I do.

Awww. Every kitsch begins with Kay.

But wait. Open your heart? No, unless by “heart” they mean “wallet.” Ladies and gentlemen, I give you open-heart sorcery: the black art of combining celebrity, cheap sentimentality, self-delusion, greed and borderline consumer fraud.

…

The practice exploits consumers’ emotions and invites them to delude themselves into thinking a product purchase is an act of charity. But it is not charity.

It is sales promotion, perhaps slightly enriching the licensor, but surely at the cost of actual charitable giving by those who think they’ve tithed by buying an overpriced necklace.

In other words: a racket.

And he’s just getting started on the execrable Seymour and her treacly fake cause marketing BS.

Consider this column recommended. And trust me when I tell you that Garfield is pretty much always this good.